AI-generated illustration created with Exas: an imagined moment of one neighbour offering another a warm drink in an autumn park; not a photograph or a recreation of the research.

A thoughtful message, a small offer of help, a warm drink on a cold afternoon: an ordinary gesture can be easy for its giver to dismiss. Research suggests that we sometimes judge these moments too modestly, underestimating how positive the other person will feel. [1]

For Earth Love, that offers a hopeful question for everyday life: what small kindness might be welcome today?

The gap between giving and receiving

In field and laboratory experiments, Amit Kumar and Nicholas Epley compared what people expected after performing an act of kindness with recipients’ own reports. Across the settings studied, givers underestimated recipients’ positive feelings. Their paper appeared online in August 2022 and in the January 2023 issue of the Journal of Experimental Psychology: General. This is established research, rather than a new finding from 2026. [1]

The researchers’ explanation centres on attention: givers can focus on the modest value of an item or favour, while recipients also appreciate the warmth communicated by the gesture. The meaning includes someone choosing to be kind. [1]

A warm drink, and more than a drink

The University of Texas at Austin describes an experiment in Chicago’s Maggie Daley Park. Of 84 people offered the choice, 75 agreed to give a cup of hot chocolate to a stranger. Researchers passed on the drink and explained the participant’s choice. Recipients then rated their mood, while givers estimated it. Recipients reported a more positive response than givers expected. [2]

A separate laboratory experiment also found that people who received a gift through another participant’s kindness subsequently shared more generously in a money-allocation task than those who received a gift directly from the laboratory. That supports a possibility of kindness encouraging further generosity within the experiment; it does not establish an endless chain outside it. [2]

Children can underestimate kindness too

A related 2023 paper by Margaret Echelbarger and Nicholas Epley examined children and adults. In two experiments, involving children aged 8–17 and 4–7 respectively, both children and adults underestimated how substantial their kindness would seem and how positive recipients would feel. The authors suggest that these mistaken expectations may emerge early in life. [3]

This does not mean every person wants the same gesture. The studies describe patterns in particular settings, with responses measured around those interactions. They do not show that a small gift fixes loneliness, guarantees a lasting change or removes someone’s difficulties.

Choose a kindness that leaves room for choice

The following are practical suggestions from Earth Love, rather than a programme tested in these studies:

Keep the gesture within your own time, energy and means. Accept a refusal easily. A kind act does not need a photograph, an audience or a favour in return.

Start with something small

The useful invitation is modest: notice an opportunity, ask what would help and offer what you can. You cannot predict another person’s response, but you can make room for a little care.

For another expression of shared care, read the people bringing Sweden’s meadows back to life, or explore Everyday kindness.

Sources & further reading

  1. Kumar & Epley: A little good goes an unexpectedly long way (2023; online 2022)
  2. University of Texas at Austin: Random Acts of Kindness Make a Bigger Splash Than Expected (18 August 2022)
  3. Echelbarger & Epley: Undervaluing the positive impact of kindness starts early (2023)

Prepared with AI assistance and checked against the linked research abstracts and university report. No interviews or original experiments were conducted. The cover was generated with the local Exas AI image engine and depicts an imagined scene.